Back in February, my whole world changed. One minute I was walking across the street thinking about picking up a package in the leasing office, the next I was struck by a car, thrown several feet through the air and landed, face first, on the tarmac.
I incurred several fractures to my skull, my left arm, my ribs and my hips. Within 48 hours I had two surgeries, placing metal into my body to pull my broken bones back together. My face was a mess.
And yet, when my fiancé (now husband) arrived in the hospital my first words to him were, “I can’t wait to see what good comes from this.” And, honestly, good has!
Focus on the Positives in Change
“I believe the happiest and most successful people do not necessarily have the best of everything,” says Ralph Massengill, author of Conquer Change and Win, “they just make the best of everything they have.” And that’s what I was doing.
Throughout my recovery, I’ve focused more on the positives of that radical moment of change. Yes, I’ve had my wallowing in self-pity moments (the scar on my face, the numbness in my hand, etc.), but overall I’ve focused on the positive (the strengthened relationship to my fiancé, new teeth, all the love I received and continue to receive through Facebook and beyond). And shared it on Facebook! (See sample gallery below.)
I firmly believe that it has been this positive outlook on life that has helped me heal so quickly and return to something resembling a normal life. And, Massengill’s book seems to shore up this belief.
The Emotional Response to Change
Change, says Massengill, “in its simplest form, is doing something different.” He says that regardless if the change is positive (like my wedding) or negative (like my car accident), we all have the same emotional reaction to change: a feeling of loss. Loss, he says, “always creates some form of anxiety, anger, fear or stress.” The premise of his book is that although we can’t alter the inevitability of change, we can “control our response to those feelings and emotions caused by change.”
Massengill goes on to say we only have two choices: “One is to embrace change with gusto. The second is to stay in a rut by refusing to admit that all change is constant.” The latter leads to a life of denial, fraught with discomfort. The former is the key to “true happiness and business success.” He believes that “the more we know about change … the more we can profit from change.”
Change itself need not be painful, he says. “Only our resistance to change can cause pain. Once you stop resisting what happens in your life and accept it, the sooner you have the opportunity to feel less stress and set your business and life up for even more success.”
My physical therapist likes to call me a walking miracle. I believe it was my relaxing into my experience of recovery, rather than railing at the world at large about how unfair it all was, has been the key to my successful healing. That and all the well wishes and prayers I’ve received from friends and strangers alike.
Sharing My Journey on Facebook
Click on thumbnails to see full size.
NOTE: I received a free copy of Conquer Change and Win by Ralph Massengill for review, and plan to read it over the next few months. That said, I am under no obligation to write about it positively or otherwise. I just share this sneak peak because I believe it to be useful information. If you would like to grab a copy before I post my review, you can order it on Amazon.
0 Comments