Do you keep in touch?

Weekday Wisdom, Episode 48

Do you spend quality time with friends and family? That’s the next true or false question we’ll discuss in today’s Weekday Wisdom.

Do you keep in touch?

Today we’re going to talk about question number eight from the quiz I gave you back in Episode 40. Each question was true or false. And today’s question, number eight, is:

Reaching out to others enriches my life.
I spend quality time with family and friends.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been better at this during parts of my life and not so good at this during other parts of my life. It often depends on how busy I am, my access to transportation, whether I’m new to a place or not, etc.

When I was in high school, I kept a little box where I put index cards of all my friends’ and family members’ birthdays, and I made sure at the end of every month that I got the next month’s birthday cards ready. Everybody got a physical birthday card in the mail. Alas, that sort of fell out around my 20s when I started having jobs and got confused and did all sorts of things. I would like to get back to that but I haven’t gotten there yet.

Then I married my first husband. We moved around the country a lot — as much as ever six months, sometimes. So I was constantly losing track of old friends, making new friends, losing track of them, making new friends, etc. It was a very chaotic time in my life. And so, all I had was my abusive husband. Needless to say, I was a rather depressed person for a while there.

Then I got away from him and I moved to Long Beach. And since then I’ve developed some good friends, but I have to admit that the fact that I have a back injury and can’t drive has really made it challenging for me. I don’t know if it’s necessarily because of its all in my head — I don’t like imposing on my friends. “I’d love to see you. But you have to pick me up.”

I don’t know what your life circumstances are. But I encourage you to do what you can to keep in touch with those you care about and love.

Something amazing about my current (and wonderfully awesome) husband is that he has three friends that he’s had pretty much since elementary school, or at least Junior High and High School. And they keep in touch a lot. They’re on the phone with each other, I’d say every couple of months or so. Most of them get together once a year around Christmas. They’ve really built a strong friendship that’s lasted them years. And I have to admit I’m a little bit jealous of that.

I do have friends, which I’m connected with on Facebook, that I’ve known since I was a kid. But I don’t call them. We don’t call each other. We’re not active in each other’s lives. I think about them every once in a while because something about me is, once I love someone, they’ve got a piece of my heart forever. Even if I cut ties. For example, I don’t wish my exes ill. I do wish they won’t be part of my life because some of them were kind of abusive. Not all of them. But two come to mind.

Anyway, that connection to other people, with our friends, with our family, is really important. I know that sometimes, especially with family, there’s a lot of baggage that comes with this. And so sometimes it can be hard to maintain that connection. But it is so important.

No one is an island. I know that’s a trite statement, but really, that’s so true. We can be independent and do things on our own, but we still need that connection. As humans, we are a tribal species, and because of that, we need that connection with others. In fact, babies who don’t have enough touch in their life will actually die. Even if you feed them and make sure you take care of all those needs, if they don’t get enough cuddle time, they will die. And that’s true, in a way, of adults too. OK, we won’t physically die like babies, but we will die a bit inside. We need that at least mental cuddle time with our friends on the phone.

Put the text machine away! Talk to someone. Talk to them in person if you can, barring that at least talk to them on the phone. Nurture your friendships. Nurture your relationship with your family members. It will keep you with a background noise of happiness.

Don’t box yourself in.
Spread your wings and fly.
Because you — yes you, you right there — are capable of more than you know.

Please post a comment below If you liked this video, please comment below. Like it on YouTube. And talk to me. Join the conversation let me know how you are liking the Weekday Wisdom in general. Do you like this particular series for the quiz? Are there questions that you would like to hear in future videos?

Ask Me Anything About Writing a Book — Special Event Tomorrow!

This Saturday, tomorrow, I’m running an Ask Me Anything feed. You can ask me anything about writing a book. It is free and there are already at least 15 questions submitted already. Add yours, too! Depending on how well it goes — I’m experimenting with it — I will probably do Ask Me Anything events in the future. I might even be using some of these questions in a future Weekday Wisdom. So c’mon Ask Me Anything!

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About the author

Carma Spence is an international best selling author and award-winning speaker who helps women, introverts and shy people vanquish Mind Goblins, unleash their content creation superpowers and communicate their message with confidence so that they can create meaningful and fulfilling legacies.

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