How To Create Your Own Happiness

Do you believe happiness is a choice or an event that happens? In this video post, I talk about how you can create happiness, one moment at at time.

How To Create Your Own Happiness

Most of us believe that happiness is an event. However, it is more a state of mind. Happiness is not based on how much you have, how much you achieve, or how many degrees you have.

Happiness is a state of mind that is always with you at your choosing. While it is very difficult to be happy all the time, you can create little pieces of happy throughout your day and throughout your life, giving you a feeling of generalized happiness.

In order to be happy, there is not one thing you need to do or one thing you need to have. Creating your own happy means to simply choose it. Happiness is a choice and it is there for you to choose at any moment.

Now I know this sounds easier said than done. But stay with me and I’ll go into this a little deeper.

First, you need to make a conscious choice to feel happy. Think about what happy feels like. What does happy look like? How does happy show up in your life? Then, focus on those events and times when you felt blissfully happy.

Recall those memories, feel them, remember how you felt and feel it again in this moment.

This is a great exercise for when you’re down in the dumps and can’t seem to get out of it.

Recall Fond Memories

You see, by recalling fond memories in a moment when you are angry or sad is a great way to pull yourself out of a dark place. I did this when I was in the rehabilitation hospital after my accident and was feeling sorry for myself. I would stop my pity party and think about my friends, my family, my fiancé. And soon I was my smiling self again.

A caveat though, this exercise doesn’t work as well if you’ve let the pity party go on for too long. In those cases, it is best to remove yourself from whatever is triggering you and go to some place else that helps you feel differently.

Walking is great for this, especially if you have someplace pretty to walk. But if walking is not an option, like it is for me right now, you can do something else, as long as it helps you clear the clutter from your mind. Meditation works for some. Cleaning around the house has helped me at times. Or work on a project that that uses your hands, such as cooking, or crafting or gardening.

Once you’ve calmed down, then you can do the memory exercise and recall a time when you were truly satisfied and blissful. Hold onto that and let the upsetting situation dissipate further, knowing that this too shall pass.

Smile for Happiness

Now here’s a fun one: Did you know that simply smiling and laughing, according to some research, is good for your health? Apparently, endorphins are released when you smile or laugh — regardless of the emotion you’re feeling. So go ahead and have a belly laugh and a good chuckle and smile even though you may not really feel like it at the moment. It will do your body and your mind a world of good.

Get off the Pity Train

Another great way to increase your happiness is to look for things in every situation to be grateful for — even if it is a major change. For example, As I’ve mentioned before, I was in a car accident a few months ago. I could bemoan all the disruption to my life that accident has caused. But I choose to be grateful instead. I’m grateful to be alive. I’m grateful to have my mind intact. I’m grateful that I’m now forced to get my nose and teeth fixed … something I’ve been thinking about for years but never got around to. Hey, I’m looking on the bright side!

You have to look for the silver lining. Every dark cloud has one. Keep looking for the details in every situation that will make you smile. Each small moment of happiness will add up. What you focus on expands, so why not focus on the happy?


Hair and makeup featured in this video were done by Kat Laskey.

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About the author

Carma Spence is an international best selling author and award-winning speaker who helps women, introverts and shy people unleash their content creation superpowers and communicate their message with confidence so that they can create meaningful and fulfilling legacies.

You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.