While you don’t want to be so “confident” that you come off as arrogant, you do want to have sufficient confidence to succeed in life and reach the goals that you’ve set for yourself. The quiz below will help you assess where you are on the confidence scale.
Where are you on the confidence scale? Are you rockin’ it? Or are you pulling your punches because of low self-worth?
Read and answer the following questions (all yes or no) and then look back on your answers. You should have a pretty good idea if your confidence quotient is high or low – or in the middle — and what areas you need to work on to raise it.
1. Do you feel guilty when you say “no?”
Saying “no” can be extremely uncomfortable for you if you lack confidence in your decisions. You may find yourself making up lies to get out of things rather than just saying, “no.”
My story: For many years, I put other’s needs before my own and found myself saying “yes” even when I didn’t want to. In my early 20s, I decided I had had enough and started working on my “no” muscle. Saying “no” was uncomfortable at first, but became easier with time. Now I more often than not say “yes” only to things I really want to do.
2. Do you compare yourself to others?
There’s always going to be someone smarter, richer and better looking than you. Until you become comfortable with yourself you’ll lack the confidence to go farther in life.
My story: For a very long time, I compared myself to almost everyone and came up wanting. It wasn’t until I accepted that I have value at the level I’m at and that I can improve that value over time, that I finally stopped doing that. Now, if the comparison monster raises its considerably ugly head, I recognize it for what it is and don’t give it power.
3. Do you feel intimidated in most situations?
You’re likely to feel intimidated by others if you compare yourself, or see yourself as inferior, to them. Stop comparing yourself and enjoy the moment. Everyone brings different perspectives and experiences to each situation. This has value. Own that value.
My story: Being a shy introverted child, I was often intimidated. What I’ve discovered, however, is that I can handle most situations, even if they are uncomfortable. These days I only find myself intimidated when the comparison monster catches me off guard.
4. Do you stand up for your values and beliefs?
If you easily get swayed by others or don’t speak up when you’re in an uncomfortable situation, you could lack confidence. Compromising your belief system is not only a symptom of low self-esteem, but it also can be a confidence killer.
My story: When I was married to my first husband, and later when I was living with the boyfriend who eventually attacked me, I often set my values or beliefs aside just to keep the peace. After the attack, I realized that if I kept going along this path, the next guy would probably kill me. So I took a year off from men and worked on myself. By the time I met my most wonderful current husband, I was committed to never pushing my values or beliefs aside again. In fact, during our early dating phase, I threw as much “me” at him as I could. What I discovered is that although we don’t agree on everything, he loves me in part because I stick to my guns when they matter to me.
5. Do you try hard to impress others?
When you’re confident, you don’t have to strive to impress–others will be automatically impressed by your presence. Confidence exudes an image that means you don’t have to try to impress–it will come naturally.
My story: I’m not sure when it happened, but at some point, I decided that I was good enough. When that happened, I realized that the adage, “the people who matter don’t mind and the people who mind don’t matter” was oh so true. Now I just am the best I can be and let people be impressed on their own accord.
6. Are you financially sound?
Financial well-being can add to your confidence quotient. Financially sound doesn’t necessarily mean that you are wealthy, but it does mean you know how to handle it when you’ve got it. If you have problems when it comes to planning a budget and spending money, you may need help from a professional financial planner to make you feel more confident in your financial future. Or, at the very least read a good book on budgeting and learn to balance your checkbook. I use Quicken, which saves me hours on the calculator!
My story: When I was in high school, I came across a book called Rich on Any Income and devoured it. I’ve been following a budget every since and more than once that budget has saved my butt.
7. Do you hesitate to take the initiative on projects or ideas?
Part of learning to become confident is the ability to feel good about taking on challenges and new ideas. It’s okay to take a back seat to someone who knows more and from whom you can learn but put yourself out there by taking initiative, as well.
My story: Like so many other areas of confidence covered in this quiz, this was something I developed over time as I matured. As I became confident in my abilities, I was more likely to speak up, share my ideas and volunteer for new projects.
8. Do you feel confident about your future?
It’s important that you feel comfortable about the choices you’re making that will impact your future. That future encompasses your health, family and job decisions that you’re making now. Be sure they’re based on facts.
My story: I’ve always been an optimist–just ask my Mom! So this is one area where I’ve rarely struggled. However, at my low points–like when I was ensconced in an abusive relationship–that optimism waned.
Determine Your Score
For every “yes” give yourself 2 points. For every “no” give yourself 1 point.
If you scored 10 or less, you need to focus on improving your confidence.
If you scored between 11 to 14, you are probably confident in enough areas to get by but have a few areas for improvement, as well.
If you scored 15 or 16, you are good to go!
Now is the time to take action. All those questions where you answered “no” (or cheated and answered “sometimes” or “maybe”) are areas you can focus on to improve. Start to take action now. Read articles on the web or in magazines that address those issues. Read books. Take courses. Hire a coach. Then, in 6 months to a year, come back and answer these questions again. You should see your quotient progress.
Would you like some help on your Journey to Self Confidence?
If your confidence quotient was low, and you’d like some help in raising it, read on.
I’ve developed a program that will help you develop your own customized confidence toolkit that will empower you to boost your confidence whenever you need to. The program is called The Journey to Self Confidence and will begin in January. At that time, I will work through this program with a select group of Founders Members.
To make sure these early adopters of The Journey to Self-Confidence receive the best service, I am hand-selecting no more than 20 people to personally guide through this program. If you would like to apply to be one of these Founders Members, you will need to get on the phone with me.