The CAP Podcast, Episode 33: Stop Bullying Yourself!

Stop Bullying Yourself on The C.A.P. Podcast with Carma Spence

 
When most people think about bullying, they think about childhood, or bullying on the playground. However, bullying can be found in both corporate life and in your own business. If fact, I touched on this in my special report The 7 Warning Signs of a Bad Client. However, the most insidious form of bullying is that which we turn on ourselves.

“You idiot!”

Have you ever said or thought that to yourself?

Then you might suffer from self-bullying.

In this episode of The C.A.P. Podcast, I talk about what bullying is, how it appears when turned onto yourself and ways you can turn the tide by kicking the devil off your shoulder and embracing your inner angel.

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. There are four main types of bullying: emotional (sometimes called relational), verbal, physical, and cyber. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion, such as intimidation.

Self-bulling is being mean, overly critical and/or hard on yourself. When you engage in self-bulling behavior you may do any of the following:

  • Denigrate yourself: “You idiot!”
  • Criticize yourself: “You never do anything right!”
  • Call yourself names: “You stupid …”
  • Threaten yourself: “The world would be better off without you!”
  • Mock yourself: “Oh, that was nice!”
  • Bring negative past experiences: Use historic reference to remind of past failures, guilt and shame.

According to WaterfallConcept.org, “Self-bullying is only beginning to be recognized as an emotional danger, but a growing number of researchers are establishing the connection between abusive self-talk and emotional pain.”

Some things you can do to reverse the damage and release yourself from self-bullying include:

  • Create a “what I like about myself” list … and when you’re done, cross out “like” and change it to “love”
  • Write a love letter to yourself … this technique is even better if you make it part of romantic “date” with yourself, as well
  • Use affirmations … write them, say them, post them on your walls and mirrors
  • Say “I love you” in the mirror … say it using your name gives it more energy

Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Use these techniques over and over again to clean out the negative programming and install the positive programming. Then continue to maintain your efforts moving forward.

And, if these techniques don’t work, seek help. Hire a life coach, counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist to help you turn your back on the demon on your shoulder and embrace the angel on your shoulder instead.


How I use affirmations in my home

Here are some examples of what I’ve done with affirmations around my home.

mirror affirmations

My mirror sports not only a couple of affirmations, but also a picture of myself at my goal weight.

weight loss affirmations

Above the chart where I track my monthly weight goals, I have a picture of myself at my goal weight, as well as some affirmations about my weight.

I find happiness and joy in everything I do.

I post pictures of myself at my goal weight around the house. And I make larger versions of my a favorite affirmations.

affirmation about goals

I post affirmations throughout my home that my subconscious can always seem them. I also read them whenever I think about it.


Video Excerpts

This podcast was recorded on video. You can view excerpts here.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

comment Now it’s your turn
What did you think of this episode of The C.A.P. Podcast? Was it useful? Did it spark some ideas? Did it leave you with questions. Please share your thoughts, comments, questions and sage advice in a comment below.


questions I would LOVE to answer your questions on future episodes of The C.A.P. Podcast! Do you have a question about overcoming money blocks, online marketing, public speaking or mindset/universal laws? Do you struggle with integrating creativity, authenticity or even profitability into your business? Send your questions to Paul Robinson at paulr@dragonwyze.com with the subject line: “CAP Podcast question.”


Would you like to be a guest on The C.A.P. Podcast? Learn more here.

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About the author

Carma Spence, The Own Your Awesome Mentor, is fiercely committed to guiding women to Owning their Awesome and turning it into a profitable business. She is masterful at helping her clients see what is possible for them and supporting them on the journey from where they are to where they want to be, releasing the Mind Goblins of self-doubt, self-sabotage and second-guessing that keep them stuck.

With 20+ years experience in marketing communications and public relations, natural intuitive skills and certification in using some of the most effective transformational coaching tools available, Carma’s mission and commitment is to unleash the inner power every woman entrepreneur possesses so they can boldly go out into the world, transforming the fabric of people’s lives in meaningful and positive ways.

You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.